Anonymous asked: Om du vill ha en anledning att le, så är detta en sådan. *kramar* Jag vet hur åt helvete allt är. Men du är fucking fierce, så du fixar det med. Det vet jag. Det vet du med. Du och jag, vi kan slå tillbaka. Vi fixar detta, DU fixar detta. Give 'em hell. /Eli
Tack för dina fina ord. Har aldrig blivit kallad fierce förut så jag fick mig en liten egoboost där. Och tack för att du tror på mig. Det betyder mycket, även om jag inte vet vem du är. Många kramar, och all styrka jag kan ge vidare, tillbaka!
Anonymous asked: How'd you get so beautiful?
this is the only question I got after my Q&A post xD so here comes my answer in text form.
You’ll have to ask yourself, because I couldnt possibly answer that. I dont even think I’m beautiful (not only because of low self esteem, I just dont like my facial features and body type). It’s all in your eyes and your head, what’s beautiful and not. So like, I’m just lucky so many people actually find me beautiful!
So, thanks to all of you <3
Anonymous asked: You should make another video in the life on Hallonfrisk, because honestly the first one was adorable
haha, thank you! but it wouldnt be much of a video… it would probably be “hi, here’s my couch. I live there. bye.”
but maybe if I have some fun stuff planned sometime soon I’ll make a new video :)
Anonymous asked: Do you have Borderline?
To be honest I dont know anymore. I used to. I attended a special kind of therapy for people with Borderline and I “graduated” this year, after 3 years in that therapy. And I mean I still have most of the problems I had walking in, but now I know how to handle them better, and I’ve made a lot of progress.
So… I guess I attribute my problems to my Aspergers, and I dont see myself as having Borderline anymore. I think I only got the Borderline diagnose because I hadnt yet been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.
Anonymous asked: What do you think about self harm?
Tough one… I mean, yeah of course it’s a bad thing, but if I could do it without hurting the people who love me I would. Because I still love it. Love the pain, the blood, the wounds and the scars. And nowadays I mostly just want to do it as a way to “paint” my body. Because I dont know, it’s like piercings and tattoos. I just love it. I dont need to do it anymore though. Not like before, when it was like a drug to me and I a slave to it, and I needed it to get through the day.
But I wish that no one would ever feel the need to do it. And I wish I could help the ones that do.
I do however hate people who “cut” themselves (like tiny scratches that hardly even bleed) and then they go around showing them to everyone like “buhuuuu I’m depreeeeeessed help me I wanted to kill myseeeeeelf”. I dont want to go in to explaining why I hate hate it because I’ll just go on forever, but the short answer is that I find it really fucking disrespectful.
(warning! unnecessary, boring stories coming up)
And I get that people feel awkward and dont know what to say when they find out that someone they know has harmed themselves, but I knew this one girl who said “I know how you feel! I’ve actually dragged my nails across my wrist once, it didnt bleed but… It’s still the same you know?” and I just felt like punching her in the face (this was after an even that spread the “news” about my self harm habits in my class).
And another classmate (after the same event) drew green stripes on her wrist with a marker one day when she was feeling down and she showed everyone and her friends were like “oh my god noooooo! why did you do thaaaaat? we have to get her out of class! she cant be here, she’s fucking suicidal! she needs a break!”.
Dont get me wrong, I didnt know her as well as they did so maybe she was going through stuff that I didnt know about. But this was also the girl who skipped lunch once every other week and made a huge deal about it to try and “steal the spotlight” from another girl in my class who had anorexia.
And I wasnt jealous about them not giving me any attention either, because I wanted to be left alone with my problems. I worked hard to make sure no one found out. And that’s also a reason why the others behaviours bothered me so much.
They just had no clue of how it is to live with real mental health issues, and they were making a mockery out of it. I dont care if it was intentional or not, it was disrespectful as fuck.
Pisses me off to think about it.
Sorry for the long answer.
blairfish replied to your post “I wish there was a diagnose for my EXTREME over sensitivity to sound…”
That’s actually an asperger symptom though unfortunately society’s attitude towards issues of mental health (anything on the autism spectrum in particular) is pretty shitty. If I were in your place I’d either leave or say I have a headache.
well that’s what I mean. I wish it was a seperate physical problem that people would respect. Because it doesnt matter if I say I have Asperger. People either dont believe me, or they have these stupid fucking ideas about what it means and say that I’m nothing like that, or they say “oh, but ok it’s like mild Aspergers then”. And I’m like….fuck you? You cant say that any mental health problem/diagnose is “mild” because everythings individual. You cant compare pain, And I’ve actually had people tell me “well everyone has Aspergers so like, it’s not really a problem is it”.
And I just feel like a little kid crying with a ring of adults around me saying “come on, it isnt that bad is it? there’s nothing to cry about!”, which is like the worst thing ever because it’s so condescending and just… ugh.
And I cant explain my problems to them, because they dont want to listen, and even if they do, explaining how my Asperger works just makes me look like an attentionwhore and it makes people think that I’m making it up to “seem special”. And anyway, it’s not like I want to have to explain myself all the time.
I’m not saying I need special treatment, or that people should bow down to me just because I have Asperger, but like, show some respect.
And that of course goes with all mental health issues, but right now I’m just focusing about my experiences with Asperger…
And there’s this one swedish movie, where the main character has Asperger, that I actually kinda liked until I noticed that EVERYONE compared me to him.
And comparing one Aspie to another is pointless. Especially comparing men and women. People who have Asperger or know someone who does, knows that. And that’s the problem. People who arent somehow affected by mental health issues are just…uneducated about it. And as you said, the general attitude towards mental health issues really fucking sucks.
And so it just feels like it would be easier to have like a physical condition to blame my sensitivity to sounds on.
I wish there was a diagnose for my EXTREME over sensitivity to sound so that I could say to people “don’t fucking make a sound unless I tell you to, don’t even fucking lick your lips or look at that bag of crisps!” and they would have to obey me. I would probably loose all my friends but I think I’m ok with that right now.
Better than this anyway.
Anonymous asked: Sorry for my use of righteous, my vocabulary is filled with 80's/abandoned slang, but you're like the coolest person ever and I have a girlfriend who has relative problems so I know that it must be tough on you, but you have so much support from your fans including her and I c: just want you to know that no matter how bad things get we're all gladly at your side, and if anyone talks shit just know that they harass to make themselves feel better (you should know since you're 20 something?)
Tank you, again :)
Edit: Da fuq? I wrote a much longer response than that… Fucking iPhone… I’ll rewrite the rest of my answer after I’ve had some more sleep
Eeeeeeeedit: so, my answer was really this.
It’s feels really amazing to get messages like this. To be reminded that I have so many people, that dont even really know me, that believe in me and would stick up for me. It’s mindblowing actually…and I cant even begin to describe how much I appreciate all of my followers and all the support I get.
So, make sure you and your girlfriend hug eachother from me :)
Anonymous asked: You're are like the most righteous person ever. You live like the coolest life, have the coolest friends, the coolest hair and mostly you show in an amazing way how different you are in society, you and Thomas (It is thomas right?) are the cutest. I know this probably sounds creepy and you are just like amazing. Plus, when you're down it's great to read or hear positive things why not boost your self-esteem with some praise if I sound like a freak but sometimes it's just good to hear good things
At first when I read “righteous” I expected it to be a hate message, dunno why… But then when I noticed it wasn’t I couldn’t stop thinking about that turtle in Finding Nemo, and I’ve been going around saying “righteous! righteous!” ever since. Anyway, thank you so much! And don’t worry, you don’t sound like a freak :) I really appreciate your message!